Time is not on our side
by NoxFox
Summary: Sirius and Remus must make a decision. A decision which will tear their lives into two. Wolfstar


'We can't do this. Time is not on our side.' Sirius stood up, looking agitated, his figure casting a shadow in the light emitted from the one log, which was lit in the fireplace, in the otherwise dark and empty room, devoid of all furniture apart from a battered sofa, haphazardly covered with a blanket. Two satchels lay sloppily by the door. There was one other person in the room, sitting on the sofa, whose face was carved over and over again, into his brain, his heart, his whole being.

'It never has been,' Remus whispered gruffly, gently patting the patch on the sofa next to him and taking Sirius' hand. Sirius sat down reluctantly, holding onto Remus' hand as if his life depended on it.

Wednesday was their usual meeting time. They would rendezvous late in the evening, spend the night together, rise early and go for a stroll before they once again had to remember their commitments to the Order. For the rest of the week they had to forget about their commitment to each other; more often than not, in vain.

The meeting place in question was an old hunter's hut in Northumberland. It had been chosen, as the seductive smell of the pine forest, which surrounded it, had attracted Sirius to hide there when he went on the run with Buckbeak. Having taken residence in Grimmauld Place, it was no longer used for that purpose, though Remus had visited him often enough when it was. The pair loved being outdoors having been trapped into hiding for so long. It was their place to escape. From life. Until today. When Sirius had demanded it stop.

'Azkaban- no Voldemort- took so much from us, Sirius, please don't let him do it again,' Remus breathed into Sirius' jumper.

Sirius' spare hand automatically raised and slid around Remus, holding him in a tight embrace, whilst the owner of the hand stared straight ahead, lest he lose the nerve to sever himself from the man who he had dreamt about embracing copious times, while incarcerated in Azkaban. For a few moments they just felt each other's chest raising and lowering, as they quietly breathed, contemplating a life detached from the other. It seemed impossible.

'We have to do this. We already mean too much to each other, if one of us was caught…we could be manipulated too easily…Harry…the Order..' Excuses poured from Sirius' lips as Remus nodded sombrely. He too knew just how heavy the consequences were if their 'situation' was used to an enemy's advantage. He slowly got up and went over to one of the satchels, producing a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

'I had a feeling we both might need this and no matter how much you pretended at Hogwarts, you never really liked Firewhiskey,' Remus smiled faintly.

'We've always been muggle lovers, ey, Moony.' Sirius winked, but the situation was already too far from light-hearted. There's something about finality that makes everyone cling on to every second, forgetting that the whole journey up until the closing page has been nothing but a timeless adventure. The last event should be a celebration not a funeral. Sirius and Remus were already trying to postpone the Death March.

Remus filled each glass to the brim, Sirius immediately swigging his back. He expected a reproach from his partner but Remus copied his actions with careless abandon. They looked outside of the small rectangular window, admiring the waning crescent and multitude of stars which accompanied it. They both silently acknowledged twinkling Sirius, as they were wont to do every night, even when they were apart. The ritual had started in the dormitory in sixth year, when their relationship was an exciting secret; a shared smirk at mealtimes. Their own burning symbol in the sky.

Then they were on each other. Sirius' hot breath on Remus' neck, Remus' hands sliding up and down the formers back. Their lips dancing a rough salsa, tongues sliding in and out, trying to taste as much as they could before…before… but no that thought was not for tonight. Remus began to unbutton Sirius' shirt, fingers fumbling.

'I need you now,' Remus breathed.

'Tell me about it,' Sirius groaned undoing Remus' shirt, sliding his lips over the sensitive parts of Remus' neck. Once both shirts had been thrown heartedly to one side of the room, they moved against each other, making out, skin on skin, Remus pushing Sirius down onto the sofa and pressing himself on top of him.

'You'd better make this-' He moaned as Sirius grabbed his crotch, 'incredible.'

They both awoke in the morning tangled into each other, hands touching. The sun was just rising. Remus opened his eyes, to find Sirius staring at him, tears slipping slowly down his face. He too started to sob. Soon, both of them were shaking uncontrollably.

'Look at us, we're like two old men with imbalanced hormones. Come here you.' Remus embraced Sirius, before they got up and ready to go out for their final walk through the trees.

'Never can find my damned shirt the next morning,' Sirius whinged, discovering it wedged under the sofa.

They both left, holding hands, walking through the chattering forest, sniffing every scent as if it were their last day on Earth. When they reached the top of the hill, overlooking the lake, Sirius squeezed Remus' hand and turned to look at him.

'I love you.'

'I love you too,' Remus said, holding back his tears

'Always will, no matter what, I will still look at our star on a night and think of you. Forever.'

Remus nodded an assent and hugged him tightly, Sirius pulling him back into a slow, soft kiss, before the couple both turned and stared out at the lake. Times were hard and no matter how much you wished for there was never enough of it.

Remus remained staring out from the hill for a long time after Sirius had apparated. The wind slowly chilling him to the core, as his cheeks burned red with the cold. He already felt lost. Maybe they could be together when this was all over. He wasn't sure. All he did know was that he was starting a shift with Nymphadora Tonks in ten minutes and he couldn't be late.

**AN: I do not own any of the characters in this story or anything you recognise; it belongs to JK Rowling. Thanks for reading!**


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